Halcyon


Searching for Traquility
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Ramblings, reviews and random thoughts about life from a a teenager suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome.
16th September 14

(Source: spiritualinspiration)

14th September 14
If I had the power to stop time, it would be of that rainy night we just spent in each other’s arms. It was one of those moments you live for.

If I had the power to stop time, it would be of that rainy night we just spent in each other’s arms. It was one of those moments you live for.

(via imjustakiiddd)

14th September 14

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

 ”I didn’t eat the last pizza.”

(via eirenemorana)

"What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age."

14th September 14

Plath, Sylvia. The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath. (via wordsnquotes)

(via eirenemorana)

14th September 14

Anonymous said: Si Patrick ba first love mo?

No, but I’d like to think he’s going to be the last. :)

14th September 14

chalkandwater:

Sand mandala at Thikse Monastery, Ladakh, India.

Samsara (2011)

(via rebeldiamonds)

14th September 14

eamo2747-deactivated20140924 said: I'm confused about what Beethoven was doing in the black composers post. He was German.

heckascootie:

tj:

runonsentencesaboutemotions:

cubbyzissou:

thepianogirl1:

unimaginableunimaginable:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

whitepeoplestealingculture:

By golly gee! I keep forgetting that Black people didn’t exist until the Fresh Prince of Bel Air came on television! Or that Black people existed in anywhere else than Africa even with slavery going on :) My apologies.

Anyway, here’s proof that Beethoven was Black:

"… Said directly, Beethoven was a black man. Specifically, his mother was a Moor, that group of Muslim Northern Africans who conquered parts of Europe—making Spain their capital—for some 800 years.

In order to make such a substantial statement, presentation of verifiable evidence is compulsory. Let’s start with what some of Beethoven’s contemporaries and biographers say about his brown complexion:

Beethoven2

(Louis Letronne, Beethoven, 1814, pencil drawing.)

"Frederick Hertz, German anthropologist, used these terms to describe him: ‘Negroid traits, dark skin, flat, thick nose.’

Emil Ludwig, in his book ‘Beethoven,’ says: ‘His face reveals no trace of the German. He was so dark that people dubbed him Spagnol [dark-skinned].’

Fanny Giannatasio del Rio, in her book ‘An Unrequited Love: An Episode in the Life of Beethoven,’ wrote ‘His somewhat flat broad nose and rather wide mouth, his small piercing eyes and swarthy [dark] complexion, pockmarked into the bargain, gave him a strong resemblance to a mulatto.’

deathmaskdeathmask2
Beethoven’s death mask: profile and full face

C. Czerny stated, ‘His beard—he had not shaved for several days—made the lower part of his already brown face still darker.’

Following are one word descriptions of Beethoven from various writers: Grillparzer, ‘dark’; Bettina von Armin, ‘brown’; Schindler, ‘red and brown’; Rellstab, ‘brownish’; Gelinek, ‘short, dark.’

In Alexander Thayer’s Life of Beethoven, vol.1, p. 134,  the author states, “there is none of that obscurity which exalts one to write history as he would have it and not as it really was. The facts are too patent.” On this same page, he states that the German composer Franz Josef Haydn was referred to as a “Moor” by Prince Esterhazy, and Beethoven had “even more of the Moor in his looks.’ On p. 72, a Beethoven contemporary, Gottfried Fischer, describes him as round-nosed and of dark complexion. Also, he was called ‘der Spagnol’ (the Spaniard).

Other “patent” sources, of which there are many, include, but are not limited to, Beethoven by Maynard Solomon, p.78. He is described as having “thick, bristly coal-black hair” (in today’s parlance, we proudly call it ‘kinky’) and a ‘ruddy-complexioned face.’ In   Beethoven:  His Life and Times by Artes Orga, p.72, Beethoven’s pupil, Carl Czerny of the ‘School of Velocity’ fame, recalls that Beethoven’s ‘coal-black hair, cut a la Titus, stood up around his head [sounds almost like an Afro].  His black beard…darkened the lower part of his dark-complexioned face.’

  BeethovenCweb

Engraving by Blasius Hofel, Beethoven, 1814, color facsimile of engraving after a pencil drawing by Louis Letronne. This engraving was regarded in Beethoven’s circle as particularly lifelike. Beethoven himself thought highly of it, and gave several copies to his friends.

Beethoven, the Black Spaniard

(read more here)

They whitewashed BEETHOVEN?  O_O

Thank you, history/fact-checking Tumblr.

I now feel the need to go burn every white-skinned image of Beethoven I can find.

beethoven was totally black! how do people not know this?

jk because erasure

I have been playing Beethoven’s music for 10+ years now and had absolutely no idea he was black.
My life has been a lie.

OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT.

I HAVE A BACHELOR DEGREE IN MUSIC, MY MAJOR WAS “MUSIC HISTORY, THEORY, AND LITERATURE”

I TOOK MULTIPLE CLASSES SPECIFICALLY IN BEETHOVEN’S STRING QUARTETS AND MY SCHOOL HAD AN INTERNATIONAL BEETHOVEN SYMPOSIUM WHERE THERE WERE PAPERS ON THINGS LIKE THE KIND OF FUCKING PAAAAAAPER HE DID HIS MANUSCRIPTS ON, IN DIFFERENT CITIES, TO SEE WHERE AND WHEN HE WROTE SPECIFIC SNIPPETS OF MUSIC.

NEVER IN MY EDUCATION OR READINGS DID I EITHER

A) NOTICE THIS

B) WAS SPECIFICALLY TOLD THIS.

I think there’s a combination of systemic racism in this, and my own internalized racism. I have, in fact, read Maynard Solomon’s biography and didn’t pick up on this. I have read the Czerny sources as well. My Beethoven teacher (Bill Kinderman) is one of the top Beethoven scholars in the world, and I don’t remember hearing any of this from him.

I even did a semester of graduate work in musicology, specifically focusing on the Beethoven string quartets (I really fucking love those things) and we never spoke about this.

I cannot say I am in any way surprised at this. I am embarrassed, angry, and upset that this was erased from my DECADES of music education.

Which doesn’t surprise me at all, because classical music is very specifically in our culture for white people, especially men, especially upper class white men.

Oof, this one is going to take a while to fully fucking digest, I am in angry tears.

Holy shit. One of the greatest musical minds of all time and he got whitewashed.

The truth needs to be spread.

Johnny Carson voice: “I did not know that.”

This isn’t the first time that I’ve read on tumblr that Beethoven was black, but I feel compelled to reblog it now because casually scrolling past evidence of erasure and noting it is not enough. I’d love to see a documentary about this.

Primary Relationships

14th September 14

We learned in theology class that our primary relationships, the ones that are built in the home, are our first encounters with love. In turn, however how we perceive what love is and its place in our lives manifests in the relationships we encounter outside our families.

If we come from abusive homes, or ones wherein we have overly critical family members who always make you feel like you are never enough, we end up searching for people who make us feel similar. We search for people who hurt us, or people who make us feel that we are never enough. This is why some people cheat in good relationships or reject those who may have truly good intentions towards us, because we don’t feel that we deserve the love that we are being given.

When we come from families who have given us the proper environment wherein we are allowed to discover our authentic selves without judgement, we grow up knowing that we deserve to be treated well and can find people who will love us and accept us the way we are. 

What happens then, when we choose to love with those who were not able to experience healthy primary relationships? By the way, I say choose because falling in love with someone like this is never going to be enough. You can’t rely on just feelings when it comes to loving someone who is this difficult. You need to be committed.

Why? Because first, they’re going to be very difficult to love. They’re going to lash out you frequently, intentionally testing your commitment and appearing emotionally distant for certain periods of time. 

Second, they’re not always going to know how to love you in a healthy way. They might be overly criticizing, incredibly clingy or make you work so hard to get their attention. Because subconsciously they equate being loved to these things, they will unconsciously feel that the same is true with you. You will never, ever be enough for them because they have never felt enough for everyone else. 

You need to be a little patient with people like this. You need to keep loving them until they realize that though people will hurt you in relationships, the hurt should never be a primary foundation. You have to keep loving them until they learn to love themselves. You have to keep looking at them for all the good they can be, even if they cannot see it themselves.

And if you’re not ready to give everything for this person? Leave. They will suck the life out of you. If you’re not prepared to give everything, then don’t waste your time because half a heart will never be enough. Save yourself all the nights of crying, and not knowing how to deal with someone who loves in ways you cannot explain. Leave them, and their baggage behind because you’re not ready for it. Because you’re too young to want a relationship that requires sacrifice, that requires you open your heart to be wounded deeply by someone else. 

But sometimes, apart from if you’re being physically and emotionally abused, it’s worth staying. You may not be able to completely heal the wounds of a dysfunctional primary relationships, but it’s worth being the next best thing. Sometimes, it’s worth it to simply love and being changed forever by the mere act of loving someone unconditionally. Regardless if they’re ever going to truly love you back.

14th September 14

raindropmaster:

We may be a small city but we work together to help others.

Hay mrt.

(Source: yodiscrepo)

14th September 14

wilwinasdfghjkl:

inertialicious:

lissymac37:

huffingtonpost:

People have offered many potential explanations for this discrepancy, but this ad highlights the importance of the social cues that push girls away from math and science in their earliest childhood years.

Watch the powerful Verizon advertisement to really understand what a little girl hears when you tell her she’s pretty.

This is so important. Girls pay attention. Boys, if you are a brother, father, cousin of a girl, pay attention.

This is CRITICAL

OMG

(Source: youtube.com)